My Theory of Socks and Sock Problems by Barbara Dexter
So you believe in sock fairies? I do because of the actions of socks. Socks can be defined as problem children, misfits that do not belong. How dare they be dingy and dark when they are supposed to be white after they are washed. How dare they just up and disappear without proper notice and then reappear sometimes up to two years later. This is usually just after you have thrown away the matching one.
Socks how dare they intermingle with socks of all colors and sizes, only to be sorted before and after the wash cycle. These little miscreants need to be taught a lesson. I say buy all the same color socks. This leaves out the sorting. Wash them together. Dry them together. Roll them without fighting to find the match in the pile, because who is ever going to know or even care if the are a perfect match.
I have not seen anyone hold up a magnifying glass to examine a pair of socks while they were attached to their human. But it must be said, that strange things do happen. Now if one sock is dingier than the other, simply throw it out. That’s right socks, we’ll show you. We will never have to sort or look for you again.